Just in time to add to my anxiety!

There was an article in the Anchorage Daily News today about a doctor I just started to see - Dr. Michael Todd. He's head of the Chinook Surgery Group, Alaska Bariatric Center.

Yes, that means I am working towards bariatric surgery. Yes, I'm wracked with anxiety over it.

I swore for many years that I would never go for this surgery. I was afraid of the complications. I thought that it was a money-making gig targeting desperate folks. I thought that other methods were a better choice.

Frankly, I haven't changed most of my views. The difference: my health has gotten to a point where I need to do something rather drastic within the next few years unless I want a significantly shortened life span. Also, I've known enough folks who have had the surgery to know that it works.

- As a result of a virus-gone-bad, I developed Dilated Cardiomyopathy. Because it was mis-diagnosed for 3 years, I ended up with Congestive Heart Failure 2-3 years ago. Due to life-changes and medication, my heart output is almost normal again. However, now my weight becomes a factor due to future, constant strain on the heart.

- Over the years, I have developed more and more pain in my neck, back and knees. As a result of x-rays and cat-scans, the docs discovered that I have severe disc degeneration in my neck and back (the whole thing) and severe degeneration in both knees to the point that the bones are hitting each other on occasion.

- My diabetes has been well under control for the last seven years. I am now struggling with it.

- My blood pressure is under good control as a result of medication. However, I don't know what the future may bring.

I've been on diets off and on all of my life. I've probably lost enough combined weight to make 2 or three normal sized adults. I've always gained it all back. With the hormonal changes I've gone through after turning 40, it's been harder and harder to lose.

So, my doctors suggested this. So far, the only folks who have tried to talk me out of it are those who don't have a clue. Most people who know me understand that as far as my health goes, this is a last ditch effort. If I wait much longer, my health will be such that I won't even qualify to have the surgery.

Anyway, expect to see occasional posts of my internal angst about all of this! If anyone has experiences with it, good or bad, I'd be happy to get your input.